Are you struggling to move forward during or after divorce?

• Are you in the process of getting divorced or have you recently divorced and feel stressed or deeply saddened by your separation?
• Have you been divorced for some time, but still seem to be struggling to move forward, effectively co-parent with your ex or date again?
• Is navigating your new life, shared parenting or a change in your financial, living or social situation confusing or even scary?
• Have you wondered if you’ll ever be able to love, trust, feel secure or have a healthy relationship again?

Divorce is hard. It can impact all aspects of your life and may cause you to feel or act in uncharacteristic ways. If you were the one who left, you may be experiencing feelings of guilt, shame or regret. If your partner left you, you may feel angry, abandoned or betrayed. If children are involved, you may be worrying about how your children are handling the separation, what is appropriate to share with them and how to best offer support. Trying to hold it all together and make important decisions during this challenging experience can sometimes feel like too much. It’s not uncommon to feel lonely, lost or scared.

Most people experience significant challenges as they undergo separation and divorce.

Statistics show that roughly half of all first marriages end in divorce, and that the divorce rate is even higher for second and third marriages. People going through divorce commonly experience trouble sleeping, have a hard time concentrating and generally feel miserable. Whether you wanted the divorce or were blindsided by it, divorce is almost never easy. It’s common to experience self-doubt, self-blame and fear as you learn to let go of a life-defining relationship and begin building a new life.

Divorce recovery therapy can help you move forward with more clarity and confidence.

Therapy is a safe place for you to identify, express and work through the intense feelings that come with divorce. Your Orenstein Solutions divorce recovery therapist can offer you support, guidance and practical advice. Your therapist can also serve as a secure anchor as you figure out who you are now and start rebuilding your life.

Your therapist will meet you where you are emotionally. Together, you can set a pace and process that feels right for you. You can work on identifying the root causes of your stress and explore empowering strategies to help you navigate this significant transition. You can also create a game plan, learn how to better care for yourself, and develop healthy ways to cope with your loss.

Through experience working with countless individuals undergoing divorce, our therapists understand the common issues and concerns related to this major life transition. We can often identify and point out patterns and blind spots, as well as strengths and progress, which you may not be able to see. Therapy truly is a great place to get to know yourself better, and having an expert sounding board can make your recovery process easier.

Although you may be feeling hopeless right now, so many people have moved through the pain of divorce and into joyous, meaningful lives. Humans are incredibly resilient and so much positive personal growth and empowerment can come out of pain. You, too, can feel better and grow and learn from this painful experience.

But, you still may have questions or concerns…

Therapy can take a lot of time and it isn’t cheap. I’m not sure it’s worthwhile.

Divorce recovery therapy is an investment in yourself and in your family. Intense feelings of grief and loss often accompany divorce. When these feelings are not addressed, it’s possible to develop unhealthy coping mechanisms, like self-medicating (with alcohol, shopping, overeating, etc.), which can further complicate your life and make you feel even worse.

By investing in yourself now, you are not only creating the opportunity to feel better sooner, but you can also build a solid emotional foundation that you can draw on for the rest of your life. Unexpressed or confusing feelings can also impact how you engage in relationships, influence productivity at work, increase stress and affect your family. Working through difficult feelings can create the space for emotionally healthy relationships and improved self-esteem.

I feel like I should be able to work through these issues on my own. What can therapy do that will really help me?

Although you may be able to work through many painful issues your own, it’s important to point out that so much good can come from having another person really tune into who you are – to really see and hear you – and point out those things that you cannot see yourself. In therapy, you can also get the support and reassurance you need as you rebuild your life and create a worthwhile future. You can develop practical, tried-and-true strategies that can help you feel better sooner. And, with help, you can fully process painful feelings and learn how to have a healthy relationship moving forward.

I’m afraid that therapy will shine a light on all that is making me feel bad and make me feel even worse.

Therapy will not make anything worse. What it will do is make you more aware of what is occurring within your life. This awareness can oftentimes be painful, but sifting and sorting through that pain is necessary to move forward and heal. Until you really know what’s wrong, how can you go about fixing it?

Your Orenstein Solutions therapist can help you identify self-limiting beliefs, offer practical and thoughtful feedback and gently push you in ways that you may not be able to push yourself. Your therapist can provide you with strategies and tools, highlight your progress and remind you to breathe. And, most importantly, you will not be alone as you process your pain and move forward. You will be supported, validated and reassured as you create the solid emotional foundation that you can draw from long after your therapeutic work is complete.