Is Your Relationship Suffering From A Communication Collapse?
- You and your partner have communication problems. You sometimes feel like you don’t speak the same language.
- Communication between you and your partner is often strained or hostile.
- You have intense fights which are stressful – maybe even traumatic.
- You long for you and your partner to talk to each other more easily so that you can enjoy each other again.
Having communication problems with your partner can be a lonely, frustrating stressful experience. One or both of you may yell and lose control. Alternatively, you may “afraid to express your needs and desires in order to “keep the peace.”
“Unexpressed Expectations Are Resentments Waiting To Happen.”
Oftentimes when communication breaks down in intimate relationships, one or both partners begin making assumptions about how their partner feels, will react, or views the relationship.
These made up “stories” can be highly destructive. When one or both partners have unspoken expectations, they may feel slighted or angry when they are not met.
Many Couples Struggle With Communication
Couples communication breakdowns are extremely common. They are one of the main reasons that couples come for therapy.
In healthy relationships, couples identify the negativities that threaten to pull them apart and then navigate these conflicts and challenges as a team. They operate with awareness, consideration and respect.
These kinds of healthy relationships don’t happen by chance. Like most of the really good things in life, they take work, willingness and commitment.
Like countless other couples, your relationship may have fallen victim to the destructive communication patterns that can develop over time.
If you and your partner overreact or withdraw rather than effectively problem solve, couples therapy can help get your relationship back on track.
Couples Counseling Can Help You And Your Partner Communicate With Clarity And Respect
Dr. Susan Orenstein has specialized in counseling couples for the past 16 years. She can provide you and your partner with a safe, supportive and nonjudgmental place to explore the negative patterns that have been keeping you from communicating effectively.
- You can develop increased awareness of your communication style and can find ways to support and comfort each other.
- Susan will help you express your needs, wants and concerns with clarity.
- You will discover how to really hear your partner and better understand his or her needs, wants and concerns. You will take positive actions to ensure that he or she feels safe and heard by you.
- You can have constructive conversations about the real issues rather than having counterproductive arguments.
- You can set collective goals, and begin thinking of yourselves as a “we” again.
Even if you’re feeling hopeless right now, it is possible to shift your relationship get it back on track…
With relationship therapy, you can enjoy more intimacy and take your relationship to a higher level.
But, you still may have questions or concerns…
We desperately need help, but my partner is resistant to couples therapy.
While it’s ideal that both partners are willing to engage in counseling as a couple, , there is a lot that you can do on your own to improve the dynamic of your relationship.
In individual relationship therapy, you can overcome the negative communication patterns that you and your partner have built up over time.
You can become more aware about what you bring to the relationship and work on shifting your communication style.
You can explore how you handle conflict and think about how your words, feelings and actions affect your partner.
You can also gain clarity on your needs, feelings and personal boundaries and learn how to express yourself to your partner in more active, thoughtful and loving ways.
And, often, when one person begins working with a therapist, it creates an atmosphere for change.
By taking a healthy risk, you may make a positive impact on your partner and create the support and security needed for your partner to also become interested in therapy to help improve your relationship.
Couples therapy can take up a lot of time and it isn’t cheap. I’m not sure it’s worthwhile.
Couples therapy as an investment in yourself, your partner and your family, as well as your relationship. If you are a parent, you know that you and your partner are the leaders of your family, and whatever is occurring in your relationship – be it good, bad or ugly – affects everyone in your home.
The stress created by a strained relationship can also negatively impact other aspects of your life, such as productivity at work, how you interact with friends and other family members, and how you feel about yourself.
By investing in your relationship now, you are not only creating the opportunity to communicate more actively and positively with you partner, but the skills you learn in couples therapy can be used to improve all your relationships and lead to a more productive, empowered and authentic life.
I’m afraid that if we go for counseling as a couple all that is not working within our relationship will be revealed and make matters worse.
It is unlikely that couples therapy will make your relationship worse. What it will do, however, is help you and your partner become more aware of what is not working within your relationship. This awareness can sometimes be distressing, but it is necessary in order to to move forward and heal.
Couples therapist, Dr. Susan Orenstein, will provide you with useful guidance in a safe, and nonjudgmental environment. Susan will help you find more loving ways to communicate with each other while drawing from the scientifically-backed Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy (PACT ®) approach.
She can also point out your individual and collective strengths and weaknesses, help you remember what it was that initially drew you together and remind you to be kind to yourselves and each other.
You and your partner can begin communicating better and appreciate one another more.
Your relationship can become stronger. Couples counseling can not only improve your relationship and bring more happiness and satisfaction to your life, but it can also strengthen the foundation that will support your relationship long after your therapeutic work is complete.