Something loose or broken in your relationship sent you careening into infidelity. Infidelity sent you into a jarring skid off of the road that once connected you and your spouse. It’s natural to feel hurt and confused. This is an emergency. You’ll need to call for help and you’ll need to work hard to help yourselves. But, you can make it. Signs on the road to relationship recovery will show you how commitment, sincerity, healing and solidarity point the way forward.

Four marriage-restoring signs to look for:

On any unfamiliar road, we look for signposts to reassure and direct the way. The road that leads you back to each other will have its own promising markers.

 

1. A Sign of Commitment: Right Decisions at the Crossroads

Surviving an affair will bring you to important crossroads in your relationship. Your relationship can survive if you make key choices when it counts. If you were unfaithful, are you willing to completely turn your back on the affair? Choosing your partner from this day forward is vital to the survival of your marriage. If you were faithful, are you willing to consider how you contributed to your relationship’s weaknesses? Choosing to use the affair as a chance to make positive changes is central to moving past anger and blame. Seeking the help of a couples counselor is also one of the most important decisions you’ll make when deciding whether to hold on or go your separate ways. Couples counseling offers the emergency assistance you need to survive. Commit to saving your relationship with supportive guidance and the best future possible as your goal.

2. A Sign of Sincerity: Genuine Information Sharing

A willingness to be genuine and forthcoming demonstrates that you still value your relationship. Reconnection through communication is vital.   Now is the time for truth and transparency. Answer the “why” and “how” questions that are a barrier between you. But don’t stop there. Be open to discussing the realities and problems that preceded the affair. Restoring authenticity is important to your relationship. Explore feelings of rejection and distance. Talk about recurring conflicts or issues. Your couples counselor’s expertise will help you arrive at more empowering and effective communication solutions. He or she can help direct your path towards awareness, understanding, and mutual respect.

 

3. A Sign of Healing: Marital Restoration and Forgiveness

A desire to put the affair to rest completely signals hope for complete healing. Healing is essential to long-term survival. The construction work you undertake is an effort to build compassionate bridges and demolish the hurtful parts of your interactions leading to the affair.

When you begin to feel safe and heard again, grief and resentment gives way to compassion and a desire to let go of the past. This is not an easy shift, but forgiveness is the foundation of restored intimacy and security.

 

4. A Sign of Solidarity:Recovery, Maintenance, and Relationship Protection

Your relationship survival and recovery are further reinforced when trust and cooperation are slowly rebuilt and tested. You begin to recognize that you have shared relationship goals and mutual dreams. You have a future together to protect, and the road ahead is yours to maintain.

Let your couples counselor provide structure, support and guidance to rebuilding your bond.  Build entry gates and guardrails against anything that would send you off course. Erect your own sign that says “No Trespassing” on Love Street to damaging outside influences or unresolved internal conflicts.