- The foundation of your relationship – the trust, respect and love has been damaged by infidelity.
- You and your are afraid to discuss the betrayal, or your communication is filled with resentment, anger, and guilt about the affair.
- If your partner has had the affair you probably feel hurt and and devastated. If you’ve had the affair, you may be ridden with guilt.
- You are struggling to sort out your mixed feelings – you wonder if your partner still loves you and wonder if you’ll ever get through this.
The Aftermath of an Affair Can Feel Like You Are On An Emotional Rollercoaster.
Physical infidelity, emotional infidelity, Internet sex, even flirting on Facebook can all be types of affairs.
If you or your partner has had an affair it can threaten the security of your relationship. Affairs cause feelings of self-doubt, confusion and deep hurt. They can also increase distance between partners- sometimes causing harm that never gets resolved.
Often, following a betrayal, there is a tendency to try to sweep away difficult emotions because you don’t know know how to resolve them. “Moving on” seems like the best option.
The paradox, however, is that “moving on” is nearly impossible without clear and honest communication. Feelings of anger, guilt, shame and betrayal will be triggered until they are addressed. You may be afraid of your emotions, or afraid to talk about them with your partner. Like a genie in a bottle, it’s common to fear that once opened, the feelings created by the affair will take over.
You Can Save Your Relationship After An Affair
While affairs are more common than many of us would like to admit, they don’t necessarily mean that a marriage must come to an end. If you and your partner are willing to look at your relationship with openness and curiosity and make positive shifts, therapy can be a very effective way to help you work through an affair. It can possibly even strengthen your relationship. We’ve helped many couples save their relationship from the devastating impact of an affair.
Affair recovery therapy can help you rebuild trust and heal
In couples therapy, both you and your partner will be given a safe place to begin to understand the affair, heal and recover. You will be guided through a structured process to release difficult emotions, recognize what has happened and take an honest look at your relationship.
If one or both of you feel broken by the affair right now, with a commitment to honesty and change, your relationship can be repaired and even strengthened following an affair.
It is possible to get through blame and shame. In affair recovery counseling, you and your partner, take steps to rebuild trust, and actively protect your relationship from future affairs. You can get to know each other again and build a stronger bond.
As you work on forgiveness, you can develop more compassion for each other, become more sensitive to each other’s needs, and grieve what was lost in the relationship together.
With help, it is possible to come to a place where you can both experience more intimacy, confidence and a shared vision for the future.
Concerns You Have About Affair Recovery Therapy…
Is Affair Recovery Possible?
Yes, it is possible to recover from an affair through therapy. Many couples have succeeded in healing (as opposed to putting it aside) from an affair.
Choosing counseling to heal the damage done to your relationship by an Affair is an investment in your relationship if you want to heal and stay together. It may be that you are unsure if you want to stay together right now. It is understandable if you are confused. Counseling can help you move past the affair and help you make the best decisions for yourself and your relationship.
Therapy may also help you repair your relationship and avoid a costly divorce.
I’m afraid that affair recovery counseling Will Bring Up Emotions That Will Make Me Hurt More
It is unlikely that therapy will make matters worse. What therapy will do is make you and your partner more aware of what has been occurring within your relationship. This awareness can sometimes be painful, but honestly sifting and sorting through the issues related to the betrayal is necessary for healing to occur. Until you understand the affair and how it has affected your relationship, how can you go about repairing it?
Relationship counselor, Dr. Susan Orenstein will provide you and your partner with the safety and support needed to work through the painful aftermath of infidelity. Your counselor can help you create boundaries and agreements for addressing the affair, while also helping build accountability and mutual trust. Your relationship can become healthier and stronger as you heal the myriad of feelings you are experiencing.
As you and your partner acquire tools to resolve conflicts and better understand each other’s needs, you will be able to recreate the safe conditions of therapy for yourselves, in your home.
In time, you will develop confidence that you have become experts on each other and on healing your relationship.
I’m afraid that our therapist will take sides
A good couples therapist will take a side – the side of the relationship. And, the goal of affair recovery therapy at Orenstein Solutions is to get you, your partner and your relationship all on the same side. It is not your therapist’s job to judge or place blame, but, rather, to work as a team builder, help you build reinforcements and encourage honesty, curiosity and growth.
With over 16 years of experience specializing in couples counseling, we’ve learned that relationships are never black and white and that there are many factors that lead to infidelity. We have refined our therapeutic methods to incorporate the Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy (PACT ®) approach, which finds its basis in scientifically driven ideas, techniques and exercises in marital and couples counseling.
We can help you build a strong foundation that you can draw from long after our therapeutic work is complete.
We provide services in the Raleigh-Cary metropolitan area. We invite you to call for a free 15-minute phone consultation to discuss your specific situation and any questions that you have about affair recovery couples counseling If you are ready to book an appointment, you can contact us in our office in Cary.
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